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EP. 222 Doing the Work for Strong Emotional Intelligence

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Welcome to Episode 222 of the Hope Rescue Podcast! We're in our third and final week of our series on emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Today, we're diving into the importance of doing the work to build and maintain a strong EQ.

As Christians, we acknowledge that we live in a fallen world as sinners. Since the fall of Adam, all humans are born with a sin nature. Even after accepting Christ and being renewed by the Holy Spirit, we continue to live in our fleshly, human bodies. God's love for us includes refining our emotions and character. Psalms 26:2 says, "Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind." The word "mind" here is the Hebrew word "kilyah," which we discussed last week, meaning our feelings or inmost being. By testing our emotions, the Lord is refining us and shaping our character.

To achieve emotional maturity and high emotional intelligence, we must put in the work. Self-protection is a fear-based response that all humans experience, but we can overcome it by developing strong emotional intelligence. Here are the steps to do so:

  1. Stop Blaming and Shaming

  • Avoid pointing fingers and shaming others for your emotional state. Taking responsibility is key to emotional growth.

  1. Believe What God Says About You is True

  • Embrace a balanced self-esteem. Not thinking too highly of yourself, but having a healthy, balanced view. This helps you communicate without being defensive or self-protective because you know the truth about yourself.

  1. Analyze What You Believe to Be True

  • Question your perceptions. Do you really think the person you're talking to is attacking you or your character? Assess their motives and your assumptions.

  1. Analyze How You Are Feeling and Determine What Actions Are Based on Your Feelings

  • Reflect on your emotions and understand how they influence your actions. This self-awareness is crucial for managing your responses.

  1. Determine What You Really Want from the Conversation

  • Clarify your intentions. What are you hoping to achieve in your communication with others?

  1. Determine How Your Words Impact Others

  • Consider the effect of your words. Are they hurtful or cold? Aim to communicate in a way that builds up rather than tears down.

The Trilogy of Extreme Beliefs

Watch out for the "trilogy of extreme beliefs," a concept we've incorporated into today's episode because of its truth and relevance. This trilogy includes:

  1. All-Or-Nothing Thinking

  • Viewing situations in black and white terms, without recognizing any middle ground.

  1. Overgeneralization

  • Making broad, sweeping statements based on limited experiences.

  1. Catastrophizing

  • Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen, blowing things out of proportion.

By recognizing and avoiding these extreme beliefs, we can foster a more balanced and healthy emotional outlook.

For a deeper dive into working through negative emotions and developing a balanced, biblical approach to emotional well-being, check out Tim's book "Breathe." It's available for purchase at: Hope Rescue.

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