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EP. 121 Common Myths about Grief Debunked


To View the Video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/u2TpWdZzHQo


SHOW NOTES


Welcome to a new week of the Hope Rescue Podcast. We are in a short series on grief, so if you missed the last two episodes make sure to go back to episode 119 to hear why we are talking about grief in the first place. This week, Tim and Kimberly break down some common myths about grief. Keep reading to learn more.


Tim kicks off the podcast by telling the emotional story of when his father passed away. Listen to the podcast to hear the full story, but to summarize, Tim’s father died from a massive stroke years ago. After sharing some last encouraging words with Tim in San Diego, his father flew home to Tennessee where he had the stroke. The stroke sent him into a coma, and Tim was able to fly to Tennessee to see his father in his last days. As he sat with his father in his last minutes, Tim was able to witness his father’s last breaths. This was a very painful but powerful experience for Tim, because although he was grieved that his father passed away, he had the hope and promise that his father was now in the presence of the Lord.


Tim and Kimberly share that there are really only two types of grief: grief with hope and grief without hope. As believers, we can grieve with the hope that we will see our loved ones again one day in heaven. Without that hope, grief is incredibly painful and despairing. When one grieves without hope, there is no closure in the heartbreak. First Thessalonians 4:13 says, "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." Tim explains that it’s okay to be sad and cry when someone passes away, even when we have hope. In fact, he encourages it. Don’t suppress the emotions that arise when you experience loss. Process through the emotions and the loss, but throughout your grieving, know that there is hope in the Lord.


Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed the well-known theory of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Tim goes on to break down some myths in regards to the five stages of grief. First, many falsely believe that these stages were meant to be linear - that a grieving person experiences these five stages in a particular order. That was never Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s intention, and it’s simply not true. These stages are not always experienced in the same order. Another myth is that these stages were developed to describe a grieving person after they had lost a loved one. They were actually developed to describe the stages of grief a person who was dying experienced. Tim explains that these reactions to grief can all be experienced or just a couple can be experienced by a grieving person. Someone who is grieving doesn’t have to experience all of the “stages” outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. When Tim was diagnosed with cancer, he immediately jumped to the stage of acceptance. He never felt the other stages, but faced the reality of the diagnosis head on. Kimberly explains that when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, she went through all of the stages of grief separately. Every person grieves differently, because we all have different personality types. Some may experience all five stages, some may experience a couple of the stages, and some may only experience one stage. Don’t compare your grief to anyone else’s, and don’t feel guilty for the way you grieve.


One of the greatest blessings of having faith in Jesus is knowing that when we or our loved ones pass away, we will see each other again in eternity. Without this hope, the grieving process is filled with despair and desperation. With hope, we can grieve knowing that our loved ones are in the presence of the Lord.


Join us next week for another podcast episode on grief. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to message us on social media or email us at info@hoperescue.org.


REFERENCED SCRIPTURE


1 Thessalonians 4:13 "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope."


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