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EP. 39 Four Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage


To view the video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xICo_0_aKMw


SHOW NOTES


Hi friends! Welcome back to another week of the Hope Rescue Podcast! If this is your first time joining us, welcome and thanks for checking us out! We are excited to be continuing our series on marriage as we go through Tim and Kimberly’s top 30 tips for marriage! Today we will discuss tips 24-27 but if you haven’t heard the other episodes in the series, make sure you go back to episode 33 to hear all the episodes from the beginning of our series! Let’s dive into this week’s conversation!


24/30: Own your mistakes and your negative input into the marriage. Human nature is to blame your spouse instead of taking ownership of your mistakes. Many people are not self aware so they cannot even see their own flaws. If you are struggling to see your own flaws, honestly ask your spouse if there are blind spots that you are not seeing. This isn’t to open the floor for attacks, but if you honestly are open to hearing a critique about your flaws in order to improve your marriage, ask your spouse this important question. Tim quotes Galatians 6:2-3 which says, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” Look into yourself and try to determine what you can improve on because no one is perfect. Don’t be down on yourself, but be honest with yourself. Kimberly says, “We don’t lose power in our marriage by owning our mistakes. We gain influence when we are willing to acknowledge our own failures.” Kimberly explains that her esteem for Tim goes so much higher when he genuinely apologizes and owns up to something he has done wrong. She doesn’t think less of him but actually gains respect for him when he is able to acknowledge where he messed up.


25/30: Touch non-sexually as often as you can. Tim and Kimberly recommend implementing a twenty-second hug daily with your spouse. They do this often when they are feeling tension or stress between themselves. It’s not a quick hug to put a bandaid on the problem, but instead a long embrace that reminds you and your spouse you are on the same team. There are studies that have shown that a twenty second hug reduces the harmful, physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate. That's because prolonged hugging releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone in the brain that is only found in mammals. It is sometimes referred to as the "bonding hormone" because it plays such a crucial part in strengthening social relations. And one of the most effective ways to stimulate the oxytocin is to hug someone for a time period of no less than twenty seconds. When intimacy is not found in a marriage, people tend to look elsewhere for it. It's natural to want intimacy. Not just physical intimacy but also spiritual and psychological intimacy. Tim brings up how Kimberly’s parents still hold hands all the time and cuddle on the couch together. Instead of every touch being sexual and suggestive, focus on touching your spouse in a way that says, “I love you and I honor you.”


26/30: Talk about your future together. This will keep hope alive in your marriage. This gives your spouse a sense of belonging. Dream about your life together. Instead of dreaming about what the future holds for you, focus on what the future holds for you and your spouse together. Where do you see your marriage in a year? In five years? In ten years? Have these conversations with your spouse, and show him or her that they fit in to your future plans. Ask your spouse, “Where would we like to be in five years?” instead of asking yourself “Where would I like to be in five years?” Include your spouse in your future plans. Many couples get hung up on what they used to be when they first got together. Tim says, “A lot of couples mistakenly look to their past and think 'I wish we had now what we had then'. It's time to make your present your good old days.”


27/30: Pray together at a determined time each day. Pray about mutual concerns. Pray about your future together and what is going on in your present. Tim says, “Praying together with your spouse reminds you both that God is the source of your life.”


Thank you for joining us for another week of the Hope Rescue Podcast! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email us at hoperescuepodcast@gmail.com or you can fill out the contact form on our home page! Don’t forget to tune in next week to hear the final episode in our marriage series! We love you guys!


QUOTES


“We don’t lose power in our marriage by owning our mistakes. We gain influence when we are willing to acknowledge our own failures.” -Kimberly


“Instead of every touch being sexual and suggestive, focus on touching your spouse in a way that says, ‘I love you and I honor you.’” -Tim


“When you discuss your future plans with your spouse, it gives your spouse a sense of belonging. It tells your spouse that you don't see your future without them.” -Tim


“A lot of couples mistakenly look to their past and think 'I wish we had now what we had then'. It's time to make today your good old days.” -Tim


“Live every day as though you are preparing for a future where you look back and say 'those were the good old days.'” -Tim


“Praying together with your spouse reminds you both that God is the source of your life.” -Tim


REFERENCED SCRIPTURE


Galatians 6:2-3 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.



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