To view the video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/U1msBNb-5FU
Welcome back to another week of the Hope Rescue Podcast! We are in the thick of our marriage series, and we hope you’re learning how to have a stronger and healthier marriage with your spouse! Let’s face it: nobody’s marriage is perfect and we can always be working to improve our relationship with our spouse. Whether it’s communication, intimacy, servantship, gratitude, or finances, we could all use a little refining. When we recognize that we are not perfect in our marriages, we are able to focus on how we can be better partners to our spouses! With that said, let’s get into this week’s tips which are tips sixteen and seventeen out of thirty!
16/30: Live a life of gratitude. It doesn't take any discipline to find faults in your spouse. People who discipline their thinking to gratitude make better partners. Often in a relationship, one partner is more easy-going and the other may be more critical. Tim admits that as an eight on the enneagram, the powerful, decisive, and confrontational type, he tends to easily criticize people and situations. Kimberly on the other hand, as a nine on the enneagram, is easygoing and agreeable. It is easier for her to find reasons to be grateful, but Tim has to be really intentional to find motivation for thankfulness. A large part of being grateful is finding contentment in your life. If we are always wanting more or what someone else has, it is hard to find what we can be grateful for in the moment. Kimberly says, “There is peace in contentment because you're not striving for something you don't have. Instead, you find joy in the simple things and find reasons to be grateful every day.” A misunderstood bible verse that talks about contentment is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Before verse 13, in verses 11 and 12 the Apostle Paul says, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” Paul is not talking about accomplishments but contentment in Christ. If we are always striving for more like our consuming world teaches us, we will never find reasons to be grateful and content in our current situations. More than ever, we are being told that what we have is not enough. If we could just have a newer car, a bigger house, a higher paying job, the newest phone, more likes on social media, an updated wardrobe, THEN we can find reasons to be grateful. But if that is our mindset, we will never reach contentment because there will always be more. Another part of being content and intentionally grateful is keeping a thanksgiving journal. Tim also discusses the use of his thanksgiving journal in episode 14: How to Positively Influence Your Spouse so if you haven't yet, make sure you go back and listen to that standalone episode on marriage!
17/30: Have mutual submission for each other. Mutual submission is when you are constantly looking for ways to serve your partner. If you are mistakenly looking for ways for your spouse to serve you, it will create conflict in your marriage. There has been way too much emphasis of wives submitting to their husbands in terms of authority. Tim says, “Mutual submission to your spouse will not only save your marriage but will also make your marriage enjoyable and fun.” Make it a point to wake up every day and think of at least one way you can serve your spouse. Without making your spouse earn it, what is one way you can serve him or her today? It will change your marriage if you take the focus off of your own needs and start focusing on the needs of your spouse. Tim says, “If you begin to overtly and intentionally meet your spouse's needs, it will create an environment of reciprocation in your marriage.”
Join us next week as we continue our marriage series! We love you guys!
“There is peace in contentment because you're not striving for something you don't have. Instead, you find joy in the simple things and find reasons to be grateful every day.” -Kimberly
“Instead of worrying about outcomes, learn to be thankful for the process that gets you to your destination.” -Tim
“Mutual submission to your spouse will not only save your marriage but will also make your marriage enjoyable and fun.” -Tim
Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
Ephesians 5:21-22 “... submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”