To view the video on Youtube: https://youtu.be/KkTLDnp5lZY
Welcome back to another week of the Hope Rescue Podcast! As we continue our series on marriage, we are going through Tim and Kimberly’s top 30 tips for a strong, healthy marriage or as Kimberly likes to say, “Tim and Kim’s Fun Tips for Marriage.” Let’s be honest: marriage is not always easy! After being married for 13 years to one another, Tim and Kimberly are sharing with us their honest and practical advice!
4/30: Fall in love intentionally over and over again with your spouse. We have to cultivate our love with our spouse and intentionally nurture our connection with one another. At the beginning of a relationship, it is easy to feel in love with each other and feel the excitement of a new relationship, but as time goes on, feelings can quickly dwindle. Intention is the keyword here because it does not come easily or without effort to deliberately pursue and fall in love with our spouses. Date regularly, focus on the heart of marriage, and intentionally cultivate love for each other.
5/30: Make sex about intimacy and not exclusively about erotic fulfillment. Eroticism and sensuality are not harmful desires, but they should not be the main focus of sex with your spouse. The most significant benefit of sexual intimacy with your spouse is intimacy itself. Make intimacy the driving force behind sex with your spouse.
6/30: Plan sex in a way that is comfortable for both of you. When couples first get married, they often think that sex will always be a spontaneous event that occurs when they are overcome with desire, but that is simply not the case. When we get into the reality of marriage and add kids, jobs, hobbies, and other responsibilities into the equation, spontaneous sex can easily move to the back of our agendas. Planning sex is a healthy way to intentionally pursue intimacy with our spouses, and it can even add anticipation to our days!
7/30: Let your spouse have interests that don't include you. Before we continue with the conversation, understand that these are tips that Tim and Kimberly have developed from their own personal experience. It is okay if you disagree or believe something else to be true! We are not saying that these are the be all end all of marriage tips, but these are points that Tim and Kimberly have experienced to be true in their own marriage. So as we said before, number 7 of 30 is to let your spouse have interests that don’t include you. This does not mean it is okay to hang out with the opposite sex without your spouse. Kimberly says to keep it “blue on blue and pink on pink.” If all the interests are outside of your relationship, there is a problem, but there is nothing wrong with having separate interests and hobbies. Don't make it all the time but allow for it on a regular basis. Make sure you are still spending quality time together, but make time for your spouse to have separate interests.
8/30: Listen to what hurts your marriage. Get to know your spouse intimately so you know how to communicate with him or her. Everyone has different personalities, and most spouses are different numbers on the Enneagram, so find what hurts your spouse and be intentional not to hurt them.
9/30: When your spouse does something with the same goal as you but uses a different process, leave him or her alone. Tim says, “If you are more concerned about the process than the goal, you will hurt your marriage.” This can be such a difficult tip to execute because we all have a specific way of doing things. Tim and Kimberly discuss how different their notes look when preparing a message for church, but they both can have the same goal of getting a certain point across. Neither route is wrong or even more right than the other; it is simply okay to take different routes to reach an end goal.
10/30: Get a budget. Kimberly says, “Love your spouse and use your money. Don't use your spouse and love your money.” Mark 12:31 says, “‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” We are called to love one another, but we were never called to love money. In fact, 1 Timothy 6:10 says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” Tim recommends Financial Peace University, which is a program developed by Dave Ramsey that helps couples get in control of their finances. Check out the link below for more information! (We are not affiliates of FPU, and we are not compensated to advertise for it. It's just a program we believe in!)
That’s all we have for this week but join us again next week as we continue diving into our 30 tips for a strong marriage! We love you guys!
“We have to cultivate our love with our spouse and intentionally nurture our connection with one another.” -Tim
“If you can be unreservedly intimate with your spouse, you will feel the joy of being fully known and unconditionally loved.” -Kimberly
“If you are more concerned about the process than the goal, you will hurt your marriage.” -Tim
Mark 12:31: “The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
1 Timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”
Financial Peace University