To view the video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VYBgkUz557o
This week on the Hope Rescue Podcast, Kimberly and Tim discuss the importance of finding your team and also determining who is on the opposing team. Kimberly opens up by touching on the previous episodes in this series on boundaries. If you have not heard the previous episodes, make sure you go back and listen to episodes 21, 22, and 23 to catch up to where we are on the topic of boundaries! In episode 21, Tim and Kimberly discussed the difference between margin and boundaries and gave six ways to set healthy boundaries. In episode 22, they discussed the red flags of a toxic person. And in last week's episode, episode 23, they discussed the manifestations of gaslighting and how to break free from that manipulation.
Tim starts by explaining the story in John 11, where Lazarus died, and Jesus brings him back to life. Before Jesus brought Lazarus back to life, Mary and Martha came to Jesus crying, saying that if He had been there, their brother would not have died. How often do we try to make God see things from our perspective as if He doesn’t already know our point of view? How often do we think or pray “God, if ___ hadn't happened, things would be different.” God knows our hearts already, and He is with us in our pain.
We have to understand who in our lives is for us. It’s not as essential to decipher who is against us, but when we know who is ultimately for us, we can create a healthy circle of confidantes and friends. Tim discusses the "two-team" concept where you determine the people you want to keep close and the people that should be kept at more of a distance with structured boundaries around them.
Tim discusses the "two-team" concept, which involves your team and the opposing team. Both teams consist of fans, teammates, and coaches. The opposing fan is cheering for the opposing team. Their impact is a distraction from your game. The opposing players are actively undermining your game. Their impact is a loss of vitality in undermining you. The opposing coach is working strategically to stop your game and is totally interested in his own win. The opposing coach has the most significant negative impact and can destroy your life.
On the other hand, there is your own team, also consisting of fans, teammates, and coaches. Your fans act as encouraging spectators in your life. They may not add heaps of value to your life or be incredibly involved in your every day, but they are encouraging. Your teammates are active participants in your life who are in the game with you. They share your vitality and act as an encouragement to you. They are more encouraging and involved than the fans, but less encouraging and engaged than the coach. Coaches are people such as your parents, mentors, or counselors who you look up to, and they ignite your vitality. The coach has the most significant positive impact on your life. Tim emphasizes that the opposing team's fans, players, and coaches are not people you should hate but people you should set boundaries around. It's essential to evaluate if the people in our lives are making a positive or negative impact on us and make sure we are keeping the positive people close. Tim says that people with negative emotions have a lot of negative people in their life.
Tim suggests sitting down and writing a list of all the people who are on your team and state why they are on your side. Also determine if each person is a fan, a teammate, or a coach in your life. Then, determine who is on the opposing team. Once you have every one written out, determine how much time you spend with each group of people. Are you spending more time with your personal team or with the opposing team? We need to have boundaries on people in our lives who are draining us. We also need to invite more people who have positive input because they will bring about truth in our lives.
Join us next week as we discuss the difference between flexible and rigid boundaries! We love you guys!
“People with negative emotions have a lot of negative people in their lives.” -Tim
“Part of our mission and our purpose as believers is to reach negative and draining people.” -Kimberly
“Creating boundaries is not about failing to love people or cutting people out of your life; it's about spending the maximum amount of time with people who have a positive impact on your life.” -Tim
John 11:17-27: Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles[c] off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.[d] Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”