To view the video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WvkamI8cBV8
Tim and Kimberly jump right into their discussion this week as they continue the topic of blended families. When Tim and Kimberly got married, Kimberly had five children and Tim had two so they have many years of experience making a blended family work.
The blended family is born of loss and pain. Blended families don’t come about without some sort of brokenness and adversity. As a parent in a blended family, the goal needs to be to heal and unify the hearts of the family members. Although there is brokenness and pain present, it is important to “change the narrative” as Kimberly says and focus on the opportunity for a fresh start. It’s an opportunity to bring redemption and healing into the family. Tim explains that over the next few weeks they will discuss the four attitudes that will bring about a healthier blended family.
In the book of Ephesians, Paul really wanted the people to understand the power of unity. Tim explains that unity is absolutely crucial for a family, a church, a society, and a nation. Ephesians 4:1-3 says, "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” A large part of making a blended family work is having humility. In today’s world, there is so much competitiveness and people are always trying to prove that they are more valuable or better than someone else, but it is important that as Christ followers we have humility. The translation for humility actually means lowliness of mind, which is the attitude we should hold in our blended families. Kimberly explains that some of the most respected leaders they know are incredibly humble people, and we have to remember that we are leaders in our homes.
Tim and Kimberly go on to discuss traditions that they had in their homes growing up and that they currently have in their own family. Kimberly says that her family really prioritized dinner at the table together in the evenings, and they often did devotions at the table as well. She explains that some of her favorite memories were made on road trips when her family would have deep discussions about the ways of the Lord. Tim says that his family was similar in that they prioritized meals at the table together. In the mornings at breakfast time, his family would do a short devotional to kick off the day, but in the evenings at the dinner table he explains that the conversation involved much more interaction about theological topics. He and his siblings would have the opportunity to ask their father questions and discuss complex and profound topics. Tim says that he learned more from his father at the dinner table than in his father’s sermons on Sunday mornings because it was intimate and conversational. Tim and Kimberly also had some traditions from their first marriages that they carried on into their marriage together. One of Kimberly’s favorites is family night where their kids come together for dinner and conversation at Tim and Kimberly’s house. A tradition that Tim had in his first marriage with his family was that they would take turns saying one person at the table they appreciated, one thing they are thankful for, and one prayer request. Then the rest of the people at the table would pray for that prayer request. Tim says that they did this because he wanted his family not only to have value based traditions but also so that his kids would learn appreciation, thankfulness, and the power of prayer.
Tim then gives some ideas for traditions:
Eat meals together
Share moments that are predictable like family night
Celebrate birthdays with appreciation
Take your kids on dates
The impact of traditions:
Traditions bring stability to your children’s lives and to your family.
Traditions bring certainty in an uncertain world.
Traditions bring connection and unity that blends the family.
Traditions help emotional adjustment.
Traditions give us a pause for a crazy world.
Traditions bring a sense of belonging.
Traditions bring identity.
Traditions give tangibility to values.
Traditions make family members feel significant.
Join us next week as we discuss gentleness in our blended families with our daughter Shara. We love you guys!
“The goal of parenting in a blended family needs to be healing and unifying the hearts of the family members.” -Kimberly
“With all the distractions surrounding us, it is important to have value based traditions that bring stability in our families.” -Tim
“Traditions bring certainty in an uncertain world.” -Tim
Ephesians 4:1-3 "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”