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EP. 159 Five Ways to Respond When You're Caught Doing Something Wrong

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Have you ever been caught doing something you never thought would see the light? Welcome to a new week of the Hope Rescue Podcast. This week we are sharing 5 ways to handle being accused of something you actually did. Last week in episode 158 we shared 5 ways to handle being falsely accused, so make sure to check that out if you missed it.

Let God examine you and then examine yourself. The natural response when we are accused of doing something, even if it’s something we actually did, is to become defensive. Tim shared scripture to help with this initial response. Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” When we are accused of something, it’s important to be honest with ourselves. Galatians 6:1-5 says, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” Be honest with yourself and don’t allow yourself to have blind spots keeping you from seeing your own mistakes. Psalm 19:12-14 says, "Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults. Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” When someone accuses us of something, we have to do a deep dive and evaluate what we have done. It's possible we have sinned and don't even realize it, so we must go to the Lord and ask for help.

Don’t transfer blame. It’s very common to deflect, defer, or blame someone else when something goes wrong. Naturally, we don’t want to own up to our own mistakes. Kimberly explains that the fastest way to move on from a mistake is to actually admit where we were wrong. When we accept responsibility for our wrongdoings instead of trying to pass the blame, it brings healing and closure much quicker than trying to make excuses.

Repent. The Greek word for repent is metanoó, and it means to change your mind. To change your mind is to change the course of your life. Repentance is never an event; it’s always a process. It’s not an overnight change but many changes over the course of our lives as the Lord refines and sanctifies us. Tim says, “Repentance is the process of purging the false notion that sin is bringing you life.” Once you repent from the sin you’ve committed, you are free. You don’t have to continue to hold onto the shame and guilt, even if people around you won’t forgive you. Be apologetic, own up to what you’ve done wrong, and repent. Psalm 51:3-10 says, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” When you desire to repent, pray that the Lord would intervene in your circumstances.

Make amends when possible. Take responsibility for what you’ve done and always aim for reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean forgetting the circumstances but it does equal freedom and when you are able to walk in forgiveness for one another it leads to freedom. Matthew 5:23-24 says, "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Allow the process of mutual forgiveness to come, and it will bring freedom to your situation.

Know the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is what we feel when we’ve done something wrong or we perceive that we’ve done something wrong. Shame is what we feel when someone sees something we've done wrong. Shame enters the picture when others get involved with our wrongdoings. Guilt is private; shame involves others. Forgiving yourself is not a biblical concept. Receive forgiveness from God for what you've done wrong. Thank the Lord for His forgiveness. If someone continues to shame you for something you have tried to apologize for and asked for the Lord’s forgiveness on, you may need to create boundaries around that person. Surround yourself with people who see you the way God sees you.


“Repentance is the process of purging the false notion that sin is bringing you life.”

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