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EP. 135 Five Red Flags in a Marriage + 3 Ways to Rekindle Your Marriage

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5 Red Flags in a Marriage

  1. You or your spouse threaten to leave. If someone is threatening to leave a marriage, they either mean it and desire to leave or they’re trying to manipulate the other person. Either way, this is a huge red flag in a marriage. Threatening to file for divorce or separate for a time creates a lack of safety in your marriage.

  2. You or your spouse have reckless, toxic friends. These friends can lead you down a dangerous path that can suck you into a lifestyle you never intended to live. Toxic friends who are not rooting for your marriage can destroy your marriage by encouraging you to leave or spouse or find someone else. Find friends who are wise and rooting for your marriage.

  3. You or your spouse feels lonely in your marriage. It’s easy to feel lonely in a crowd or at work, but when you feel lonely with your go-to person that God has given to you for life, it’s a major red flag. If you feel like you are in a state of ongoing disconnection with your spouse, this is an issue that needs to be addressed.

  4. You or your spouse live in fear of the other person cheating. This could stem from insecurity but it also could be because your spouse is flirtatious or inappropriate with other people. This could also stem from past relationships if you have been cheated on or perhaps been a cheater. Either way, do not project your past relationship failures on your spouse. And if you were a cheater in the past, know that God can radically transform your life.

  5. You or your spouse allow your parents to overly influence your marriage. Parents can cause division in a marriage by trying to lead the couple in a certain direction. As adults, we should not be living for our parents or our parent’s satisfaction. Leave others out of your marriage and focus on one another.

3 Tips for Rekindling Your Marriage

Ephesians 5:31 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

  1. Leave. Even if you grew up close to your parents, it’s important to put your spouse first once you are married. Your spouse should be the number one person you process life with, and Tim and Kimberly recommend that your closest relationship should be your spouse. They also recommend leaving friends and all others out of your marriage. Your marriage should solely be about you and your spouse. Not that you can’t be respectful and listen to advice from your parents, but at the end of the day, you and your spouse must choose together what is best for your relationship.

  2. Hold Fast. Hold fast means to be glued to your spouse, leaving no room for anyone else in your close relationship. It means you are joined together, for better or for worse. When things get tough, instead of quitting, you talk it out and pray through your disagreements.

  3. Become one flesh. Becoming one flesh involves having intimacy with one another on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Becoming one flesh means that instead of being two separate entities, you are now one entity together. This new entity should take precedence over all previous and future relationships. You and your spouse are to become one in every way.

Leave every other relationship out of your marriage, hold fast to your spouse, and become one in every way. Join us next week as we continue the conversation on marriage.

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