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EP. 104 Q&A: Marriage After Divorce, Step-Parenting, & More!


To View the Video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fnDBer3hKIU


SHOW NOTES


Welcome to a new week of the Hope Rescue Podcast. This week, we are continuing to answer common questions sent in by listeners. If you missed last week, in episode 103 we discussed five tips for supporting our kids through the pandemic. Today we are answering some common questions about marriage after divorce, parenting step-kids, and more! Keep reading to find out.


Someone asked Tim and Kimberly what it is like being married again after a divorce. If you don’t know Tim and Kimberly’s stories, we recommend listening to episode 1 of the Hope Rescue Podcast where they explain the struggles they each faced in their first marriages and how God eventually brought them together after divorce. To summarize, Tim and Kimberly have been married now for fifteen years, and together they have a large blended family of seven children and six grandchildren. Kimberly had first been married for thirteen years to a pastor with whom she had five children. After thirteen years, it came to light that her ex-husband had been in relationships outside of their marriage, including relations with the same gender. When it all came to light, her ex-husband chose to pursue that lifestyle, and Kimberly became a single mother of five children with ages ranging all the way from eleven down to one. Tim got married to his first wife very young, and shortly after they had their first child. Right at the beginning of the marriage, Tim knew his wife had an addiction, and Tim quickly learned how addiction impacts a relationship. Tim was married to his first wife for twenty-eight years, and through those years, the addiction seemed to cover everything. Through counseling, Tim learned that he needed to confront the issue and stop enabling it, but when he confronted the problem it was too late. His first wife decided to leave the marriage and file for divorce, and Tim ended up as a divorced pastor. A few years later, Tim's first wife ended up taking her own life, leaving Tim and his two children devastated. Now that Tim and Kimberly have been married for over fifteen years, they have plenty to say about marriage after a divorce. Tim explains that it is easy to project the failures of your past spouse on your new spouse, especially in the beginning. You have to continually remind yourself that your new spouse is not the same person as your previous spouse, and this can be difficult, especially if you faced trauma in your first marriage.


Another question asked in relation to this topic is: How do you parent a child who is not your biological child? Tim and Kimberly both became stepparents when they tied the knot, and they had to navigate these uncharted waters together. When Tim and Kimberly got married, Kimberly had five children ages fourteen down to age four and Tim had two grown daughters. Tim’s first tip for fathers stepping into a stepfather role is to love the children’s mother well. He also recommends being patient with the children and building up their trust and respect before ever trying to discipline them. He also explains that it is very important to not talk in a disrespectful manner about the children’s biological parents, even if you disagree with their lifestyle decisions.


Tim and Kimberly wrap up the podcast by discussing some of the exciting things Hope Rescue has coming up in the near future. If you don’t know, we partner with a local church in San Diego to provide food to at-risk families. If you are interested in learning more about this ministry, you can click the outreach button at the top of the webpage to read more. Tim will also be starting a weekly expository bible study, in which he will dive deep into the meaning of the scriptures. Stay tuned for the announcement!



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