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EP. 101 Six Biblical Tips for Resolving Conflict


To View the Video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zXoo2Iz-kYk


SHOW NOTES


Last week we discussed the topic of conflict resolution. We discussed what it looks like to avoid conflict, and some crucial tips we should all know when it comes to dealing with conflict. This week, we are looking at conflict resolution from a biblical perspective. As Christ-followers, how should we respond when conflicts arise in our relationships? Keep reading or listening to find out!


Tim and Kimberly begin the discussion by talking about the end goal of conflict resolution which is reconciliation or restoration. We will never have reconciliation unless it involves a change. If we are naturally resistant to change, we will struggle to become reconciled. To be reconciled to God, we had to be changed through the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. Without this, we couldn't have received the righteousness of God. Tim and Kimberly go on to share six practical tips for resolving conflict in a manner inspired by the Bible.


6 Tips for Biblical Conflict Resolution


  1. Stop being the judge. Romans 12:14-15 says, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." To bless those who persecute us is counterintuitive to our flesh nature. To bless someone is to eulogize or speak well of that person. Romans 12 goes on in verses 16-19 to say, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Our jobs are not to get revenge. If we want to follow scripture we will allow God to be the judge and allow him to avenge. Verses 20-21 say, “To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” When we step out of the way, we trust God to carry out revenge and be the judge. Conflict resolution and peace are only found when we stop playing judge and jury to others, and we let go of the gavel.

  2. Stop dehumanizing other people. Matthew 5:22 says, “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” Tim explains that the Greek word for “fool” is actually closer to the word “móros.” In the times the text was written, the word moron was used as an insult to call people less than human. It was incredibly insulting. Tim explains that when we are seeking to resolve a conflict, we have to treat the other person with love and respect. When it is clear we don’t care what the other person has to say or that we don’t respect their opinions, we will struggle to ever resolve the conflict.

  3. Stop seeing yourself as better than others. Philippians 2:2-4 says, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” We need to look at other people's need for consideration, respect, and love as more important than our own needs. We must be able to set aside ourselves for others.

  4. Stop trying to resolve bitterness with bitterness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Tim explains that he loves these verses because verse 32 is the answer to verse 31. How do we put bitterness aside? By being kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another. We need to have this scripture on the forefront of our minds when resolving conflict.

  5. Stop trying to win through exposure. Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” If you have conflict with someone, don’t try to expose what they have done to everyone you know. Go to the person directly and try to resolve the conflict without any exposure.

  6. Stop putting limits on forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-22 says, "Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Have unlimited forgiveness for others, just as the Lord forgives each of our sins. Forgive anyone who has done wrong by you and release him or her to the Lord.


For any questions, comments, or future podcast topic requests, feel free to email us at info@hoperescue.org. We will be back next Monday with a new episode. Thanks for tuning in!


REFERENCED SCRIPTURE


Romans 12:14-21 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”


Matthew 5:22 “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”


Philippians 2:2-4 “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”


Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”


Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.


Matthew 18:21-22 says, "Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”



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